Last Day

Yesterday was my last official day of work at Priority Dispatch. I've still got a little work that I will be doing from home for them for a little while, but I'm going to be home now. Here we go!

Journal Musings

I have spent some time writing in my journal tonight and I feel prompted to share on here some of what came out of that writing. I haven't been faithful about writing in my journal since my mission. I'm being stubborn about how therapeutic writing my thoughts and feelings is for me. The last two years have been some of the hardest times I have been through yet in my life and I have been avoiding admitting any of it on paper. So, here is what I discovered tonight in my musings with my journal.

I've been avoiding facing my troubles by turning on the TV at night after the kids have gone to bed. Just at the time of day when I get enough quite time to think through things. I haven't wanted to think through them. My wonderful husband inspired me with a goal, less TV. So, tonight I wrote in my journal and faced my reality. I'm grateful for Spencer and how he strengthens and inspires me to do good. Without him and the added prayers and scripture studies that have come with our latest goals I wouldn't been able to have peace.

I relearned how to seek and find personal revelation while making huge decisions. The kind that scare me to make because I don't want to get them wrong. Through that personal revelation I now can have faith that I won't be getting them wrong. The spirit has confirmed what is right and I know I can trust that.

Spencer has 4 1/2 weeks left of school and that brings right to the surface the huge challange it has been for me to be working. I know you all have heard more than you want to hear of my complaining about this, but it's painful for me. I want to be at home with my kids. That is exactly what came out in my journal tonight. I faced how I've been drawing myself away from Heavenly Father because of my fear that this life is what He has in store for me. Of course, I don't know that for certain, but I have assumed that it's the way it's going to be. I've always been close to Heavenly Father and it makes me extremely sad that I have been pulling myself away from Him.

I was reminded by the spirit that Heavenly Father knows my heartache, but that He has a bigger plan. This bigger plan requires my heartache right now. This plan requires an education for Spencer that Heavenly Father will use in His work. This plan also includes forgiveness about how hard time of a time I have had with these past two years. It includes forgiveness for the fight I've put up against it the whole way through.

I wonder where I will be with my Heavenly Father in 4 1/2 weeks. I hope that I can forgive myself enough to gain my relationship back with Him. I hope that His plans for us in the near future will include mercy and the one blessing that I have been waiting for so long to come. For now, I'm facing my heartache with hope.

God is Good

Spencer has began his internship with Miller Motor Sports Park that will give him some experience in his field. It will also give him the hours he will need to graduate with his associates degree next spring. Today, I received the go ahead to be able to do most of my job from home when I go on maternity leave. So, we may actually financially make it through my leave. We'll see how juggling everything goes. One thing I know for sure is that God's hands were in all of this and I've got to trust that He will help to make everything else okay.

Do you like it chilly?

I think there are a select few in my office that feel this way. It may have been in the 80s and even 90s outside, but it's been cold in my office. There are a lot of us, including pregnant me, who are wondering about in jackets and sweaters. Then we take a jot outside and wonder why in the world we are bundled up so warm. I thought the baby was suppose to be an internal heater, but it's no match against this building's air conditioner cranked to the max. I know of at least 3 space heaters that are running nonstop. It's a little backwards, huh? I can understand being comfortably cooled inside when it's toasty outside, but this is a little extreme.

Fire... Or is it?

The fire alarm went off at my work today. It's shameful how long it took us to decide to listen to it and exit the building. Even more terrible is that only a handful of us knew how we were suppose to do it. It wasn't too long after we made it out of the building before the fire truck arrived. The firefighters gave a skeptical glance at the smokeless building, took a quick tour inside and gave us the go ahead to head back inside. A nice distraction for the day. Kudos to the quick response of our fire fighters. It makes me wonder if they were on high alert for September 11.

MARATHON #9

What a great morning it was to run. I got up to the starting line around 4am. Sat and visited with other runners. The view on top of Big Mountain was really neat. You could see all the city lights down below and the stars in the sky were spectacular. It's amazing what you can miss so early in the morning. This marathon is one that I have had my focus on throughout my training. In fact I ran the course a week and half before, so I knew what to expect with no surprises. It was a great run and my training really paid off. I set a new PR (personal record) for myself 2hrs 53min 52sec. That is a 6:38 mile pace. I took 13th overall and 4th place in my age group which is competitive. The top two runners in the age group were the winners of the marathon. The winning time was 2hrs 18min. I am proud of my accomplishment. I have always wanted to run faster than a 3 hour marathon and I knew I could do it. I got the job done. I have one more goal to achieve and look forward to accomplishing it next month in Park City.

Thanks to Dad in taking these pictures. I hope you enjoy them.

Boondocks

We went to Boondocks for my company party last night. Neither one of us had ever been there before. They have a lot of fun things to do, like rock climbing, race karts, miniture golf and arcades. My favorite was the Bumper Boats. We got to ride around on these boats and squirt other people. We all got so wet, I even got to squirt some of my new co-workers and thier kids. :) (Hopefully, I didn't leave any bad impressions) The night was a blast and the food was good.

Accounting Clerk

Well, I've officially started as a full time Accounting Clerk. I have been training on and off this past week while I finished up with school finals. Last week I just wanted to cry, but I'm thankful for Spencer. He was right by my side during all the big changes and stress to try and help in any way he could. I now will be working everyday, all day. It's nice to have work so close. I'm taking my lunch break and I decided to walk back to the apartment and have it here. :) I have never worked so close to home. The company I work for is awesome and I love all the people that I work with! Spencer and I are looking forward to the company party this week... it will be held at Boondocks. :)